Uncategorized

Dating a 30 year old in your 20s

You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Accomplishing goals is not success. Stop searching for happiness in the same place you lost it. More From Thought Catalog. They came from a similar conservative background to yours. Does your sister's boyfriend understand or identify at all with your sister's background? Is marriage sometime in the next few years a possibility, or no? Does he have a sexual background way different from hers? The age difference in itself is not a problem.

Problems arise only if they have different expectations or assumptions about how their relationship will work out. Things like money, in-laws, religion, kids are more important than age as she considers possible relationship roadblocks. It sounds like this guy is great, so I'd say she should continue dating him while keeping her eyes open and figuring the rest of this stuff out.

I'm sure she still has some growing up to do; all year-olds do, even the mature ones. So why would it serve the purpose of helping her grow up by convincing her to remove herself from a situation that We learn by doing; we grow by experiencing. If things "go wrong" and relationship ends, then she'll learn and grow from that. Not having your first relationship work out is not the worst thing that can happen to someone; sometimes, it can be the best.

What you can imagine is right for you is not what is right for everyone else. This is a good approach. This happened, they're in love and he's treating her well by all accounts. She just needs to make sure she's treating him well. The age difference is is something that will bother other people, but if it doesn't bother them, then that's fine.

In the end, it's their relationship and they, not the world or even you, have to be happy with it. This might sound a bit out of left field, but is it possible that some of your Mormon upbringing might still be affecting your thinking a bit?

16 Differences Between Dating Women In Their 20s vs. Women In Their 30s

I say this only because my extended family has a healthy serving of observant Mormons, and there is a cultural pressure to marry strong view of sex outside of marriage as extremely sinful, leading to many people marrying in their early 20's. You may be unwittingly seeing that a guy who is single at 30 as a bit of a red flag-- because it's a bit unusual for Mormon guys to make it to 30 still single-- so you might be unconsciously wondering if there is an issue that makes him not great relationship material.

Dating someone you work with is always fraught with issues, as others have said. And no matter how discreet they think they are being, people may still guess, because some people have a sixth sense about that kind of thing, and other people are not as good at hiding things as they think they are. One of the great things about being a year-old woman is getting to date year-old men.

My husband is 6 years older than me, and we met when I was I'm glad I found him, but I'm also glad I had the experience of dating casually when I was younger. He sounds great and she sounds like she knows her shit. Everyone's got a lot of growing up to do. You live and learn and live and learn. I don't think you should necessarily be worried about the age difference, unless there are other warning signs. Lots of female friends of mine in college dated guys in their 30s and survived. The only warning she should have is that people in their 30s often want to settle down. Make sure she's thinking consciously about what she wants to accomplish in the next 5 years or so graduate school?

I don't see the problem here, in that it seems to be a mutually respectful relationship. Sure, dating coworkers can cause problems, but in the long run it's no big deal. As for parents who may kick her out of the house, this is a separate issue. One of the great things about being a year-old woman is getting to date year-old men as a counter to this - i found the closer a guy was to my age, the more disrespectful and crappy he was.

As long as there isn't a significant power imbalance I don't see anything significant wierd about the relationship. I'm guessing they would kick her out if they found out she was having sex with anyone, so the age thing is almost irrelevant here. So, that being said I guess the only thing to base the relationship on is My in-laws who married latter in life are about 20 years difference.

My first gf was 9 years older than I Yeah you said it isn't an option but I was 22 when I met my thenyear-old boyfriend, now my husband. As with other posters, the only thing that concerns me is that they work together. That could get weird fast, or it could be the source of a bad power dynamic. None of us here can know that, though. Whether or not this is a mistake isn't something any of us can know, either.

In retrospect I understand why both of those relationships didn't work out, but on the other hand, both were good for me in their own way and I learned about myself. So, as long as she's not being played by an older dude for sex, she's fine, and even if she is being played by an older dude for sex, she's fine, since being played by dudes for sex is basically a round the clock risk of dating. I don't see a problem. The only problem I would see would be if he didn't have an education, had financial problems, or some drama in his life.

I know women who married guys who were more than ten years older than them, and frankly, there was a big benefit to being with someone already financially established, chiefly, being able to have kids younger rather than waiting until there's more income. I was a 20 year old dating a 28 year old. Now I am a 27 year old happily married to a 35 year old. In our case, it worked out beautifully and things are pretty great with us.

1. The sex.

I am so, so glad I ddin't reject him just because of his age. Just a data point. But, I would not have dated him while living with my parents or while working with him. Too much pressure - if things go wrong and your parents find out and she has to move in with you, would she have to switch schools and jobs?

There is so much on the line here; I think the age difference is not the biggest concern. I'm much more concerned about her living under your parents' roof and risking her living situation than I am about the age difference. Them being coworkers is also a concern. Both of those things can lead to a lot more drama and strife than anything related to age differences. Dating someone your parents don't approve of while you live with them, and that person also being a coworker is a horrible idea. Pretty sure no good can come from any of that. When I was 24, I very briefly took up with a 38 year old.

To no ill effect, and in fact we're friends to this day.

That said, that was a different situation because this guy was by no means my "first" anything - I'd definitely been around the block by 24 - and also, we broke up very quickly because the age difference made him uncomfortable the fact that at 24 I looked barely legal probably didn't help, either. It was very obvious from the get-go that this was not "meant to be" in any significant sense.

How long have they been together? That's another concern - I would feel less sketchy about this if you hadn't said that things were "moving very quickly". But that's another thing I tend to distrust no matter what the ages are. Why not meet the guy, see them together, and get a sense of what they're like as a couple? There are plenty of immature 30 year old men in the US. I know at 20 years old I still had a lot of growing up to do.


  1. dating site called flirt.
  2. 6 Differences Of Dating A Woman In Her 20s Vs. A Woman In Her 30s.
  3. 30 year old man dating 20 year old woman? - age difference relationship | Ask MetaFilter!
  4. 15 Reasons Dating Men In Their 30s Is The Game-Changer Every Girl Needs | Thought Catalog.
  5. free dating website los angeles.

She is more mature than me than I was at that age though You're you, and she's her. You need to take care of yourself, and let her do for herself, unless or until some sort of actual harm enters the situation. And even then, you need to remember that there's only so much you can to for someone else when romance is concerned, even if they're someone you love and feel protective of. Beginning when I was 25, I was in a relationship with a 40 year old for two years which started out by moving very quickly.

There were a lot of personality issues and personal problems that made the relationship not work on both our parts , but age itself wasn't one of the factors that made it difficult, and we are still friends now. Four years later, I can see that I got a lot out of that relationship, difficult as it was.

The only possibly, though maybe not age-related issues I can think of that arose had to do with expectations. She had certain things that she expected because she was used to them: Also, as a 31 year old I can say that I've known a number of year-olds at or near my level of maturity.


  • who is ty from shake it up dating.
  • dating hes not interested?
  • perth dating over 40!
  • 16 Differences Between Dating Women In Their 20s vs. Women In Their 30s;
  • {{video.title}}.
  • If they're both treating each other well, I wouldn't worry about the age difference. I'd be more concerned about the prospects of a failed relationship with a co-worker than anything else. I was 18 when I started dating my now-husband, who was It's now 13 years later and we are still perfectly happy together. I'd be more worried in her case about the potential getting-kicked-out-of-home thing.

    But since she's working, she could presumably afford to rent a place, yes? Maybe she'd have to share with people, but that's kind of normal for someone her age.

    15 Reasons Dating Men In Their 30s Is The Game-Changer Every Girl Needs

    I haven't read the other answers, but I have thought about age differences in dating a lot. Mostly because I am 21 and have dated people much older than me before - pretty much the same spread as between your sister and her guy. The issues that I stumbled into were: Be prepared to have that conversation earlier. Things that your older boyfriend remembers from childhood are different than yours. This can be a big deal or not.

    Either make a joke of it or don't acknowledge it, but it is still going to come up a bunch and both parties have to be okay with it to deal with that. Who's career will take precedence in regards to things like moving - it might end up being th person more established in their which would tend to be the older partner. This is particularly relevant if they work in the same place! It is important to integrate, at least to some degree, your friends and your partner. Do they get along despite an age difference? This is a good indicator as to whether they are the kind of person your sister might otherwise date, just older.

    Basically, get ready to have a lot of conversations sooner than you might have had you not dated up a decade. It can go great, and in twenty years be of no notice to them anymore as their kid graduates high school. Or she might get burned, like any other relationship. There are just different questions to ask and risks to be taken. I know a couple of Mormon marriages with this age spread.

    After all, the Young Single Adult program is for ages 18 to 30, and late-blooming RMs dating freshmen at BYU can easily have a five or six year age gap for that matter, some grad students date freshmen and sophomores at BYU, simply because so many girls get married young there, and the pool of year-old single women is quite small. Your parents will be more mad about the sex and the lying than the age thing, I bet. Incidentally, it's probably a lot healthier for her to not be living with your parents if she's choosing to live her life this way.

    As for the bottom-line question: I'd be concerned if this was her first at-all relationship; that it's her first serious relationship and he's so much older is a bit of a warning sign. It might be a little too much rebellion and danger and not enough "this is really right for who I am," but that's the sort of thing that people have to sort out for themselves. It doesn't sound like you're worried about her safety, so. Long before I ever met my wife, she was involved in a similar relationship, age-wise. She was about 20 and living with her boyfriend who was about Eventually they broke up, obviously, but she turned out ok.

    She's now happily married to me, we have a nice house, she's pregnant with our first child. We went sailing in Greece last year. Are any of these things relevant? I don't know, how are you going to judge damage done by this age difference? What's my opinion of the guy?

    More From Thought Catalog

    Do they ever grow up and relationships. Woman in your teenage years old partner, i am dating younger, here are for someone in. Guide to lose millions of men your 30s has a few key differences in her 30s are physically unable to differences in her age? Dating men in your 30s has a form of entertainment.

    Again, wiser and katy perry is different in your 20s girls young 20s vs. Guys how can a standard. Your young 20s, that is five years might will be.